Velvet Hamster’s crack team of financial analysts would like to recommend purchasing all the GameStop within your budget should you be interested in stonks.
In the last few days, Redditors have driven its meteoric rise, proving – technically speaking – that stimmy checks are more powerful than hedge fund douchebros. Better act fast, though, because the government is hella mad about it. They took a break from printing out trillions of dollars in cash they can’t back up to say they’re going to get to the bottom of this market manipulation.
“We’ve always controlled the economy,” one insider with the Illuminati told us. “And we would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those pesky kids.”
Editorial staff would like to remind you that Velvet Hamster uses memes as a primary source for information and you should make no financial decisions based upon our recommendation.