After the Food and Drug Administration announced it is restricting the use of monoclonal antibodies, citizens across the country are taking maters into their own hands and home brewing them themselves.

While they are unsure of the legality of making the antibodies in their kitchens and bathtubs, many feel it’s necessary to get around unfair government restrictions. The antibody bootlegging is becoming commonplace in urban and rural areas alike, with many claiming it to be more important than getting the booster or an eventual fourth shot.

“If I have to do this at home, so be it,” a Florida man told the Hamster on the condition of anonymity. “I can sell this to my family and friends too at a reasonable price. Everyone benefits. Underground antibodies are going to be huge.”

The FDA did not reply to questions for comment on the new black market. Have a tip for a great anti body recipe? Email us editorial@velvethamster.com