May flowers cancelled due to lack of showering in April

Due to worldwide quarantines, there was a steep drop in showering worldwide in April – and now we’re paying the price.

As a result, May flowers are expected to suffer.

“We don’t really know how catastrophic this is going to be, but we know it’s going to be catastrophic,” said horticulturalist Renée Hana. “Almost nobody was showering in April, they were just using dry shampoo before zoom calls. The May flowers are really going to suffer. It’s a real shame.”

The Hamster apologizes for its contribution, or lack thereof.