A local libertarian man vows to take advantage of an upcoming purge by destroying as many state and county roads as possible before time runs out.

While others plan sophisticated thefts, arsons, and murders, the unidentified man, who goes by “Constitutional Warrior,” says the roads are the real enemy. 

In an e-mail to the Velvet Hamster, the man said “The road to freedom is not paved with government asphalt. I didn’t want to be the man who exposed the libertarian agenda, but I can’t stand by and watch good people use these roads day after day. They don’t know what they’re doing.” 

Local authorities were quoted as saying “muh roads.” The County Road Commission will begin accepting bids to rebuild the roads the Monday following the purge.