Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18): You will not have a pen when you need one this week.
Pisces (February 19- March 20): Your future includes a CVS receipt that seems unnecessarily long.
Aries (March 21-April 19): In the days ahead, you can expect to see a cloud that looks like nothing.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Coming up, you will receive a bill in the mail.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Prepare yourself to struggle with product packing that is too hard to open.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): This week, social media will expose an old friend to be a moron.
Leo (July 23-August 22): There will be chicken for dinner in the days ahead.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Do not be surprised if you sneeze this week.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Someone will not understand your brilliance.
Scorpio (October 23- November 21): The weather will not be what you wanted at certain points this week.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): You will end up watching something meh on TV because you cannot be bothered to find something else.
Capricorn (December 22- January 19): Use a coaster, because a sweaty glass is in your future.