Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18)
You will decide to start drinking more water, but give up.
Pisces (February 19- March 20)
The vending machine won’t take your dollar bill
Aries (March 21-April 19)
There will be no sports news for you this week.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
A light bruise will be discovered on your body and you won’t remember how it got there.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Your sock will slide down in your shoe.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
This week, you will go to bed early but screw around on your phone instead of going to sleep
Leo (July 23-August 22)
This week’s menu will include chicken.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
You can expect to experience weather in the days ahead
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Many of your friends will post the same meme
Scorpio (October 23- November 21)
When the toilet won’t flush, you just need to jiggle the handle
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
There will not be enough time for the things you actually feel like doing
Capricorn (December 22- January 19)
You will forget the same person’s name for the umpteenth time