Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18): The store will still be out of the flavor you like.

Pisces (February 19- March 20): Your coworkers are only pretending to care what you think.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Your avocado isn’t ripe yet. Wait, sorry, now it’s gone bad. Better luck next time.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): No matter how well you think you’ve timed it, your neighbor will ambush you and want to chit chat.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): This week, you can expect great weather on the day you won’t be outside at all.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): You’ll be muted on Zoom but will say several sentences before someone tells you. At least three.

Leo (July 23-August 22): It’s probably allergies, not COVID. It could be COVID, though.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
: To avoid being wasteful, you will carefully preserve your leftovers to be thrown away later.

Libra (September 23-October 22): Although the directions specifically say to turn left, you’re going to turn right. Again.

Scorpio (October 23- November 21): You will work hard on a caption for your selfie, but nobody will read it. Everyone knows you’re just trying to post thirst traps.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Although you won’t feel like making dinner one night this week, dinner will need to be made.

Capricorn (December 22- January 19): Your daydreams will be a lot more interesting than your life this week.