Despite strong publicity at the start of his presidential campaign, Texas Congressman Beto O’Rourke hasn’t been in the news cycle as much with newer entrants into the 2020 Democratic field.
But he’s determined to change that, mostly by standing on the tallest shit he can find.
O’Rourke became well known for frequently standing on counters, benches, cars and whatever else he had access to when speaking to crowds on the campaign trail. As he no longer has his early campaign season buzz, O’Rourke told advisors that the most logical thing to do to recreate interest is to stand on even taller shit.
“Tables and countertops just won’t cut it anymore,” O’Rourke told his campaign team. “We need to think skyscrapers, tight ropes and tower cranes.”
A source told the Hamster that some advisors in the room pushed back against O’Rourke’s proposed strategy and instead suggested he instead try to differentiate himself from other Democratic candidates on policy and substance. O’Rourke, standing on the office refrigerator posed like a lemur at the time, disagreed.