By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Aliens, of course
We haven’t had a good alien spotting in a couple of weeks, so it’s high time. An American Airlines pilot totally saw a UFO. The FBI is investigating.
Verdict: Depends on the alien and if/what the government is hiding, but it’s probably safe to assume we’re doomed.
Pick one
A 10 year-old boy created a stick library so that passing dogs could pick the one of his or her choice.
Verdict: What a great way to spend free time – ingenuity, carpentry, and helping dogs. We’re not doomed at all.
Gah, no!
Verdict: If I had to see this, so do you. Doomed.
These are a few of my favorite things
This woman saved a dog using tortillas.
Verdict: Tacos, dogs, and a helping hand. The anti-doom trifecta.
People.
A bomb squad in Ohio was called to investigate a suspicious package only to find a cat and a littler of kittens.
Verdict: Another tough one. We live in a world where someone would intentionally abandon a cat in the freezing weather – while she’s in labor. Then again, we also live in a world in which somebody called for help (albeit because they thought they were helping people from a bomb, but still) and the cat and kittens are going to be ok. This one is honestly a wash but, sometimes, that’s the best we can do.
Love each other
Pandemic is tough on small businesses, and that is especially true for restaurants. That’s why it’s beautiful that this Wisconsin restauranteur has spent $2,000 of his own marketing budget to support other restaurants in town.
Verdict: This is what it’s all about. This is how we fight against the doom.
Warmth and company
I wasn’t intending for this installment to be so heavy on the dogs, but I can’t help it if they’re the best the Earth has to offer. Anyway, a climber was injured in the Alps, and his dog stayed with him for a week, keeping him warm and watching over him until he was rescued.
Verdict: Say it with me – if we all endeavored to deserve dogs, doom wouldn’t have a chance. And here’s another good dog story I can’t help it.
In the final analysis… Aliens, horrible people, and hairy eyeballs on the one hand. Dogs and good neighbors on the other. We’re not doomed for now, but I’d like to see the humans pull their weight a little more.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!