By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Americans have it pretty good, and yet there are those who constantly whine about it. My friend Karol Markowicz came to America from Russia in the late 70s and, every year on July 20, she celebrates her “Americaversary.” It’s the anniversary of the day she and her family became free.
This is the piece she wrote this year to celebrate the day and why, even at this moment in our nation’s history, we should be grateful.
Verdict: If we can get some perspective and be grateful for what we have, we will be ok. If we burn things to the ground and refuse to have any gratitude because we remain imperfect, we are doomed indeed.
The biggest “nope”
A swarm of flying ants in Britain was so huge that it looked like rain on the weather radar.
Verdict: I’m pretty sure these ants are just doom with wings. Take cover; they’re coming for us all.
Last week, I told you we were inviting aliens to Earth. Now, we find out they’re already here. The Pentagon’s UFO division is even going to start reporting their findings to the public. Which may not be the best idea, to be honest.
Verdict: I’m not sure if we’re doomed or not; that really depends on what the findings are.
No, girl. Girl, no.
Meet Alexis. She’s getting married and decided to have the dress buying experience documented on the show Say Yes to the Dress. Her dream? To look naked at her wedding.
Verdict: This marriage is doomed, and so is society.
A cute bailout
Country Time Lemonade is offering $100 bailouts to kids having trouble earning money at lemonade stands this summer.
Verdict: A private business helping kids start a business? Sounds like the opposite of doom to me.
In the final analysis… If the flying ants don’t get us, the aliens just might. By being grateful for what we have and helping others in need, we have a decent shot at getting through it. At least for now.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Let me help!