By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Santa is Coming!
Ireland has declared Santa Claus an essential worker to ensure kids that he will be visiting on Christmas Eve.
Verdict: While I don’t love the government sticking their noses into Santa’s business, I do love Santa, so I’ll let it slide. After all, this was done to let kids know that they aren’t doomed.
Seriously?
A fourth monolith has been found on the Isle of Wight off England (you might recall previous monoliths from previous installments of AWD).
Verdict: I honestly don’t know with this one. We’re going to have to wait and see if we’re doomed.
Florida Man
A man in Florida has bucked the usual Florida Man trend by being an excellent neighbor and citizen. 74 year-old Michael Esmond has paid off overdue utility bills for 114 families who were close to losing service, spending more than $7,500. This is the second Christmas in a row he’s done this.
Verdict: This is how I know that Santa is real and that we aren’t doomed.
Confirmed: Aliens
Former Israeli space security chief (that’s a job that exists?) says aliens exist.
Verdict: Another “wait and see on this one.” A lot of questionable doom this week.
Bonus Dog
This made me laugh way too hard, which is something we all need right now.
Busy Busy!
When a little boy lost his Woody doll at Home Depot, they kept him busy helping out around the store while they located his owner.
Verdict: This is so sweet. Having fun and making the little guy feel better is the antidote to doom.
In the final analysis… We’ve got mysterious monoliths and potential aliens, but we also have people doing good deeds for those around them. I think we might pull through.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!