By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Aliens (again)
Seems like there’s been a lot of alien content lately here at Are We Doomed? But maybe that’s because the aliens are coming. This week, there are reports that a cube-shaped alien ship was seen exiting the sun.
Verdict: Like the previous aliens, the level of doom depends on their intentions. Time will tell.
Keep on rocking
At Sydmar Care Home in England, residents have been quarantined since March 12. With no visitors to help with the fun, they’ve had to come up with their own activities- like recreating iconic album covers.
Verdict: No doom at all. Having fun in difficult times is the best way to make sure we’re ok.
Mystery Seeds
Around America, people are receiving random shipments of seeds from China. I’m pretty sure this is what happens if you plant them:
Verdict: The fact that people are actually planting these tells me we are doomed indeed.
Hockey & Babies
Hockey and babies are two of the best things out there so, when combined, the bestness is pretty hard to beat. While NHL player Matt Duchene is in the “bubble” he recorded his voice reading a book for his son Beau.
Verdict: Good parents are critical to keeping the doom away. This is one dad who is doing his part.
In the final analysis…While aliens and flesh-eating plants might be here to get us, there is also hockey, babies, and old folks having fun. We’re not doomed this week, but you all better keep behaving, because it’s awfully close.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!