By Amelia Hamilton

Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.

Growing Good Adults

When a teen in Alabama recently graduated, none of his friends and family were there to see it. In fact, nobody even came to give him a ride home. So, a teacher took him out to eat and posted a photo of them together on Facebook. Quickly, people started to chip in to help the young man get a car and, eventually, get to college.

Verdict: When people are willing to do each other a small kindness like a ride home and dinner, it can change someone’s life. How can we be doomed with such people in the world?

Floridamoeba

Apparently, there’s now a brain-eating amoeba in Florida. The Department of Health is advising people to to avoid “nasal contact” with tap waters well as swimming in warm fresh water.

Verdict: This is pretty rare, so I don’t think we’re doomed, but it’s hard to say in 2020.

Love each other

Actor Terry Crews shared his thoughts on the division in our country (and the world):

When people lashed out at him, he posted a thread about what matters.

Verdict: Treating each other with love is the only way to find true unity and equality.

Working From Home

We all remember BBC dad but, now that even more people are working from home (as in almost everyone), we’re seeing even more kids interrupting their parents on TV. Now, we have BBC Mom:

And Sky Mom:

Verdict: I love these. Sometimes, on TV and online, we can see a person sharing thoughts and opinions and forget they’re also just…a person. A mom, a dad, someone like us. Remembering that is how we move past the doom. Plus, BBC Mom updated us on the unicorn, which was a real relief.

What’s in a name?

A lot of teams and organizations (Hello, Washington Redskins) are under pressure to change their names. Some people need to chill on what offends them. Notre Dame’s “Fighting Irish” and the leprechaun logo are under attack, but that’s not the dumbest one. A college in Virginia might get rid of their wasp mascot lest it make something think of WASPS (white Anglo-Saxon protestants). If they’re scared to take the field against a bunch of guys who shop at Brooks Brothers, they have bigger problems. Not that I have a problem with guys who shop at Brooks Brothers. Call me.

Verdict: We are at a point where I have to believe people are going around looking for things to offend them. That speaks to an incredible amount of both privilege and doom.

Well, this doesn’t seem good.

Verdict: We honestly might be doomed.

Seriously?


Verdict: We might be doomed if the police are going after people for driving on roads.

Down with reality!

The Guardian recently ran a piece about “toxic masculinity” in our “urban spaces” because skyscrapers are nothing more than “upward-thrusting buildings ejaculating into the sky.” That’s how space works. When you don’t have a lot of it on the ground, but you need to fit a lot of people, you build upwards.

How about math? How is that doing? NOT GREAT. A teacher tweeted that “2 + 2 = 4” is a “cultural” belief based on “western imperialism / colonization”. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want my kids at that school.

Verdict: We are completely doomed we don’t get a grip on reality.

Amen

Two Florida teenagers got caught up in a current and swept out to sea. They began to pray for help “I cried out: ‘If you really do have a plan for us, like, come on. Just bring something,” 17 year-old Tyler Smith said. Boater Eric Wagner was sailing from Florida to New Jersey and heard them cry out. He pulled them aboard and got them to safety. The name of the boat? “Amen.”

Verdict: I think this is proof that there’s somebody up there keeping us from doom. Maybe you think it’s a cool coincidence. Either way, these kids are safe, and I think that’s pretty undoomy.

In the final analysis… People refuse to chill and there are brain-eating amoebas in Florida, but people still care about each other. That’s the best we can do to keep the doom from getting us.

Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!