By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
This is a real headline: Michigan AG asks residents to stop telling staff to shove sharpies up their butts
Verdict: This says a lot about the state of our nation (on both “sides”) and I think we may be doomed.
Snuggling is the best. In this wholesome new trend, parents pick a moment when their kids are engrossed in TV and just…cuddle them. The reactions from the kids are everything.
Verdict: It’s not hard to take a moment to let people know you love them. It can be as simple as this and it keeps us from doom.
Ugh aliens, AGAIN?
Wouldn’t be Are We Doomed? without an alien invasion.
Now, mysterious signals from within our own galaxy.
Verdict: Depends on the intentions of these aliens but, seeing as its 2020, I wouldn’t hold out a lot of hope. Doom seems likely here.
You can help
89 year-old Flo Osborne has been making meals for essential workers throughout the lockdown.
Verdict: We’ve got a wild election including butt Sharpies and aliens are probably on their way, but people are cuddling their kids and being kind. I think we’ve made it for another week, but you have to keep being nice to each other.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Let me help!