A source inside Facebook has told the Hamster that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is in a panic as people around the globe are realizing how much happier they are without Facebook.
“The masses can not retake their mental health,” Zuckerberg was reportedly heard yelling in the hallways of the Facebook offices. “Get this thing back up. We need to control brains. Brains. Try turning switches on and off. Need the brains.”
If this Facebook outage continues, therapists are expected to see a giant drop in clients.