A local man paranoid his new monkey-like behavior could be moneypox is relieved to get a clean bill of health Friday.
Dave Remsten, 38, began howling, craving bananas and throwing poop at his wife and kids this week, sparking concern he may have contracted monkeypox. Monkeypox has raised alarms since a new case was reported in the U.S., but thankfully for Remsten his newly-found chimp characteristics are nothing to be concerned about.
“It’s not monkeypox, so he can rest easy,” Remsten’s doctor told the Hamster, since Remsten was making monkey noises and climbing medical equipment in the corner. “This is just a regular bout of monkey business.”
Medical professionals do still recommend going to see your physician if you start acting like an ape.