A suspicious-looking cell-shaped man was seen entering a Chili’s this afternoon with a questionable vaccination card, something the bouncer eventually decided was valid.

Despite concerns from the restaurant that the vax card was forged, employees were not able to definitively confirm that the trench-coated man was lying about his vaccination status. Upon entering the restaurant and removing his mask, he was seen coughing hysterically on other patrons’ food and drinks. He assured everyone he was boosted.

The man is currently unreachable despite making contact with everyone in the restaurant.