In a stunning revelation, transcripts of President Trump’s phone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky have confirmed exactly whatever the hell it was you wanted.

Those across the political spectrum were shocked to learn the news that Trump will almost certainly be impeached, or it was a witch hunt all along, or whatever the hell you want. Seemingly all are in agreement that this is exactly what they thought though.

The Hamster will continue to update the story as more of what you think becomes true.