President Donald Trump is headed to San Antonio to try and find his stolen votes in the Alamo’s basement, something he has been constantly searching for.
Trump’s plan is to hope that a tour of the Alamo will lead to discovering thousands of stolen votes that’ll flip the election for him. He’s certain, according to sources, that they are probably in the basement.
“It’s going to be a big adventure, a tremendous adventure,” Trump told the Hamster. “We’re going to go to the Alamo – a terrific fort, lot of history, they named a rental car company after it – and the votes will be there, thousands of votes. Millions. All in the basement. They’ve got a big basement. It’s a basement like you’ve never seen before. And there will be votes in there. Plenty of votes, all stolen, and those will overturn the election. The fake news media they don’t want anyone in the basement or on Twitter. You know they banned me, banned me from Twitter. Even though I had millions of people following me, huge numbers. But they banned me. We’ve got a real problem with Big Tech, a real problem. Twitter, Facebook Ask Jeeves. Too big. We’re going to stop them and we’re going to go to the basement.”
Hamster sources have confirmed already that there is nothing in the basement, if there even is a basement.