After sinking the campaigns of Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris by revealing their sexual indiscretions, award-viewing journalists Jacob Wohl and Jack Burnkman have turned his attention to stopping the looming impeachment crisis.
In his next press conference, the pair are set to announce that, not only was Joe Biden using his Ukrainian connections to further his son’s interests, but those interests were sordid. The younger Biden is said to have been running a sex club for furries.
Beto O’Rourke is said to be the whistleblower behind this startling new development. The former congressman who failed at the state level and is now doing so on a national scale, is a well-documented furry.
Wohl and Burnkman’s press conference will be held at an NBA preseason game where Ellen DeGerenes and George W. Bush are said to be attending.