In what many reporters assumed was the expected verbal slip-up, President Joe Biden announced plans for a massive “infant-structure” plan at a press conference today. 

“Listen. Babies. There’s a lot of them,” Biden said. “They are born, and then what? Where do they go? I think we need a place for them to sleep. I’m thinking we call them ‘cribs’ and we build a bunch of them. Bunch of cribs. Ya know, and then the babies, they sleep. Yeah.”

When reporters asked Biden if he meant to say “infrastructure,” he assured them this was not the case and that he was fully invested in this crib-building expedition. Biden appeared crushed after being informed by a journalist at the press conference that cribs were already a thing, and he hadn’t suddenly invented the idea.