The Hamster can confirm Tuesday that most local residents stuck in quarantine haven’t noticed Godzilla is in town, as they’ve been too lazy, unfocused and stressed about coronavirus.
Godzilla reportedly came to shore early this morning and arrived into the city surprised to see no people and few cars. People, meanwhile, haven’t noticed him at all.
“He was here?” local resident Tracy Wohlers said. “It must have been when I was watching ‘The Great British Baking Show.’ Damn. That’s how I missed the UFO story too.”
Godzilla, bored, is likely to leave shortly.