A confused local man is almost done with his COVID-19 vaccinations, as he’s just received his 18th of the 19 shots he is believed to require.

Ted Lomell, 45, got his first 18 Moderna shots over the last two months and is scheduled to get his 19th in two weeks. He’s had a range of side effects – headaches, muscle aches, fever, nausea, confusion, massive erections – but doctors have estimated that he’s now 140% protected against the virus.

“Besides not having any feeling in my left arm now, I feel great,” Lomell said. “I haven’t been really following much on COVID, so I wasn’t sure how this works. I just knew from the name I needed 19 shots.”

The Hamster can not verify the science, but recommends reaching out to medical professionals for clarification on the vaccine.