A local man who has a mango for a head was frustrated today to learn that having a mango for a head is not an underlying condition valid for vaccine eligibility.
Jake Carmen, 30, is a Chicago resident and must have an underlying condition or be an essential worker to get a vaccine. While he’s not an essential worker, Carmen thought having a mango for a head would be enough to get a vaccine. But Walgreens told him no.
“How on earth do I not qualify in group 1B?” Carmen said. “I have mango head. Doesn’t anyone realize how debilitating this fruity disease can be? I can’t even see anything, I have no mouth and my head is a mango.”
A spokesperson for the city of Chicago told the Hamster that while papaya, lemon and grapefruit heads are eligible, there are no plans to give preferential treatment to those with mangos for heads.