Fueled by alcohol, a brouhaha has broken out at America’s birthday party this afternoon.

Some reasonable patrons tried to break it up, but got out of the away once the violence and name calling intensified. Things really got out of hand when Donald Trump tried to break a bottle over Joe Biden’s head, and Biden proceeded to throw cake in Trump’s face. From there, everyone took a side.

The Hamster reporters on the scene wish everyone just calmed down and enjoyed the party.