The Food & Drug Administration announced Monday its authorized the combination of pizza, beer and not giving a fuck as a potential treatment for COVID-19, positive news on the virus front.
This combination is proven successful in treating other ailments – such as the regularness of everyday life – and the FDA is confident it can be successful in combating coronavirus.
“Initial tests show this works,” FDA Commissioner Stephen Hahn said. “We’ve run several tests – including on ourselves – that have shown we are at less of a risk of infection after several slices of pizza, several beers and just not giving a fuck about anything. Everything is actually better this way.”
The Hamster is testing this method and will report back.