Investigator Robert Mueller broke his silence today, confirming exactly what you already thought about Russian interference and whether or not the evidence supports moving forward with impeaching Donald Trump.

Kellyanne Conway spoke shortly after the remarks, saying that Mueller and his deep state cronies carefully crafted the speech to make the president look bad.

“This is conclusive evidence that Mueller is clearly still loyal to his Obama-era friends, making accusations he can’t back up and trying to take down a freely elected president,” Conway said. “We can’t let the deep state win by impeaching the Donald Trump.”

House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler also spoke, saying “Move over, Nancy. We’re impeaching. There is no longer any other option given today’s damning remarks from a neutral investigator.”

Nadler was heard to giggle like a small child as his handlers helped him into his automobile. 

Mueller’s remarks also confirmed to the handful of viewers that speculate President Trump and Nancy Pelosi created the entire investigation in order to distract the press from their torrid love affair. Given the almost complete blackout of coverage on that story, it seems to have worked. 

Having provided complete clarity into the situation, Mueller has stated he will now retire to private life and will not be speaking about the investigation again.