After a troubling day, President Joe Biden has announced that he will soon address the nation to calm fears by confirming he will have mint chocolate chip tonight.
The White House understood that Americans were concerned in not knowing if the president would have cookie dough, cookies ‘n’ cream or possibly even chunky monkey. In a moment of leadership, though, Biden is ready to confirm he will have mint chocolate chip.
“The ice cream, two scoops,” the remarks – which the Velvet Hamster acquired advanced notice of – will read. “Mint chocolate chip. It’s a classic. I’ll have it tonight around 8:15, maybe some sprinkles. Andy Griffith Show on TVLand. I make this decision with great, ya know, the thing, conviction.”
Biden will reportedly answer no follow up questions about the ice cream.