In signing numerous executive orders on his first day, President Joe Biden has accidentally eliminated 12 states, the result of not reading the orders closely enough.

Vermont, Maryland, North Carolina, South Dakota, New Mexico, Colorado, Indiana, Missouri, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Rhode Island and Illinois are no longer states as of today, and will now have to be independent nations. The oddly worded executive order declared them no longer to be states without the possibility of ever coming back, effective immediately. Biden – not reading the orders so he could be done quicker – signed it instantly.

Biden was heard telling aides “what are we going to do about Illinois and the Dakotas and ya know the other ones? The states, man!?” before signing several more executive orders this morning. The administration is considering inventing 12 new states by executive order to replace them.