Contrary to thinking by many, scientists are now suggesting that bed rest is actually the perfect remedy to combat COVID-19 news coverage.

Scientists from the Center for Science issued a science report Tuesday stating that bed rest is a foolproof way to avoid any COVID-19 news coverage, especially that which has been sensationalized or politicized.

“This news coverage can take years off your life, especially if the news is coming from cable news sources,” the report reads. “There is no better way to drown out that noise than never leaving your bed. Nothing can hurt you in bed. It’s a perfect place to be, always.”

The Hamster can confirm the validity of the report.