By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
It’s (not that) hard out here for a pimp
The city of Seattle has hired ex-pimp Andre Taylor to be the new “Street Czar” at a salary of $150,000 a year. Before Taylor was contracted by the city to provide “expertise and support services in de-escalation, community engagement, and alternatives to policing,” he was engaged in prostitution.
Verdict: More than anything, I’m intrigued by the fact that Seattle has money to burn. In this case, maybe literally. Doomed.
Animals are silly
Like humans, animals can be funny, silly, clumsy, and loving. Check out the 2020 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards to feel a little better about the world.
Verdict: If we can take some time to relax and enjoy the world around us, maybe we’re not so doomed after all.
A close call
NASA confirmed a meteor the size of a school bus passed right by Earth.
Verdict: Hey, we weren’t doomed!
I’m sorry, a what?
A “time bomb explosion” of millions of “super pigs” of course!
Verdict: Well, it doesn’t look good as far as doom goes.
But she was Jewish
Here is a real article from the Huffington Post:
Verdict: How does this honor RBG exactly? We’re doomed if people think that “making the world a better place” means “Write a thinkpiece about your navel gazing.”
Verdict: I’m all about getting out the vote, but we’re doomed.
Green Nope Deal
Recycling is great, but we have to draw the line somewhere.
Verdict: Well, I sure hope the people who bought these aren’t doomed.
Verdict: Come on, world. Let’s not actively court doom.
Hope in surprising places
It turns out Justin Bieber’s new song is a nice story of faith and family and lots of wonderful things that culture looks down on.
Also surprising? The new Paris Hilton documentary is surprisingly touching.
In the final analysis… Pimps and strippers are in political media this week, but we’re finding hope in surprising places- and we didn’t get hit by that meteor. We might not be doomed, guys!
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail email@example.com. Let me help!