By Joe Kaiser

With the Denver Nuggets in the NBA Finals for the first time in franchise history, there is a lot of mention of Nuggets. So it’s time to definitively decide, which Nuggets are the best Nuggets? Can the 2022-2023 Denver team edge Wendy’s spicy?

A list:

15. Dinonuggets: These crack the list on nostalgia and brand identity. They probably aren’t really that good. They might not even be made of real chicken or real dinosaur. But everyone knows what they are and that counts for something.

14. The 2019-2020 Denver Nuggets: This team actually made the conference finals. People forget that because all the NBA teams were locked in a bubble in Disney World while we wiped down our groceries and had happy hours over Zoom.

13. Burger King: Their chicken isn’t terrible, and hasn’t yet been the subject of a horrific earworm jingle. They also come vegan for those that don’t eat meat but still want diarrhea.

12. The 2009-2010 Denver Nuggets: Upset in the first round, but great regular season team.

11. McDonald’s: A lot of people like these, but they’re kind of ass. They always leave me with a stomach ache. Maybe that’s what they’re supposed to do. There are several other better McDon’s items.

10. Whataburger: I’ve actually never had these, but I like everything at Whataburger. Whatachick’n’ Bites is also an amazing name. Can confidently put it here without verifying.

10. KFC Popcorn Nuggets: The only on this list of the popcorn variety, so coincidentally also the best of the popcorn variety.

9. The 2008-2009 Denver Nuggets: One of the three Nuggets teams to lose the conference finals post merger. This one was fun. Probably could have gone to the finals.

8. Hershey’s nuggets: I wasn’t even sure if they still made these, but it looks like it. The nugget shape seems pretty unnecessary, but a reg Hershey’s is great so still great in nugget form.

7. 2012-2013 Denver Nuggets: Another team that was upset in the first round. But if any consolation, lost to the soon-to-be dynastic Warriors.

6. Nuggets of information: These are important, and a fun way to say you have something to share.

5. 1974-1975 Denver Nuggets: Most regular season wins in franchise history, lost in the conference finals.

4. 1975-1976 Denver Nuggets: This year they got over the hump, and then promptly lost in the ABA Finals.

3. Popeyes: Everything Popeyes does is elite. I don’t think there is a bad item. They are the 2022-2023 Denver Nuggets of chicken items. Speaking of that team…

2. The 2022-2023 Denver Nuggets: This team is really good, and should probably win in 4 or 5 games against the Heat if we’re being real. The Heat are a nice story, but Denver has the best player in the world.

1. Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets: King shit. Wendy’s does pretty much everything better than McDon’s and Burger King, nuggets included. Maybe Jokic has four straight 50-20-10 performances and these get overtaken, but otherwise they remain undefeated.