Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker accidentally eliminated his own job Monday after expanding a ban on non-essential services that unknowingly included all state politicians.
Pritzker banned indoor dining and bar services in several areas, noting that those jobs are non-essential, but he did not read the fine print of his own order that his job, all state representatives and senators and lobbyists are even less essential. All Illinois politicians are now unemployed.
“When we issued the order today we truly thought we were just pausing the jobs of unimportant people like small business owners,” Pritzker said in a news conference from his house, because he was escorted out of the governor’s office. “We are working to get the important jobs back, like mine, to continue to tell the unimportants, like you, what to do. Please stand by.”
As journalists, the Hamster office remains essential and open.