Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in October.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18): You will find room for one more dish in the dishwasher.

Pisces (February 19- March 20): In October, you will wish for the election to be over.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Although you’re keeping that email unread in your inbox, you will never reply to it.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): It’s time to admit that you bought that Halloween candy for yourself. 

Gemini (May 21-June 20): After achieving maximum couch comfort this month, you will realize you forgot to pee first.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Your plan to get up early to get that thing done will come to nothing.

Leo (July 23-August 22): It is time to admit that you aren’t going to read that book your friend recommended. 

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
: You will find that political rhetoric is extreme this month.

Libra (September 23-October 22): You will be unable to follow the directions you were given because you didn’t admit you don’t know which way is north.

Scorpio (October 23- November 21): In October, you will enjoy the appetizer more than the meal.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): You will see an unnecessarily “sexy” halloween costume this month

Capricorn (December 22- January 19): You can share your opinion about candy corn, but nobody cares.