Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in October.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18): You will find room for one more dish in the dishwasher.
Pisces (February 19- March 20): In October, you will wish for the election to be over.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Although you’re keeping that email unread in your inbox, you will never reply to it.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): It’s time to admit that you bought that Halloween candy for yourself.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): After achieving maximum couch comfort this month, you will realize you forgot to pee first.
Cancer (June 22-July 22): Your plan to get up early to get that thing done will come to nothing.
Leo (July 23-August 22): It is time to admit that you aren’t going to read that book your friend recommended.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): You will find that political rhetoric is extreme this month.
Libra (September 23-October 22): You will be unable to follow the directions you were given because you didn’t admit you don’t know which way is north.
Scorpio (October 23- November 21): In October, you will enjoy the appetizer more than the meal.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): You will see an unnecessarily “sexy” halloween costume this month
Capricorn (December 22- January 19): You can share your opinion about candy corn, but nobody cares.