Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.
Aquarius (January 20- February 18) A minor paper cut is in your future.
Pisces (February 19- March 20) You will be invited to a Zoom “party” you have no desire to attend.
Aries (March 21-April 19) This will feel like a short week at work.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) It’s time to accept that that one person is crazy.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Previously high standards for what to watch on television will continue to slide.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) Somebody online will be wrong and it is your job to correct them.
Leo (July 23-August 22) You will think somebody is mad at you, but they might just have RBF. Or they hate you.
Virgo (August 23-September 22) There is a spider in your house.
Libra (September 23-October 22) Instead of reading that book in your pile, you’ll just play on your phone.
Scorpio (October 23- November 21) The annoying jingle from a low-budget commercial will be stuck in your head for the foreseeable future.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21) You won’t be able to find your slippers, but then you’ll find them.
Capricorn (December 22- January 19) That same coworker will reply all. Again.