Welcome to Hamsterscopes. The Hamster has looked into the stars to tell you what to expect in the next week.

Aquarius (January 20- February 18): Technical difficulties will be fixed this week by turning it off and on again.

Pisces (February 19- March 20): Your shampoo and conditioner will run out at different times in your future.

Aries (March 21-April 19): In the days ahead, you can expect to take part in a Zoom call that could have been an email.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): You will spend an inordinate amount of time this week worrying about something that doesn’t matter.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): You will open a bag of food this week, only to realize it is mostly a bag of air.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): As soon as you get comfortable, you will have to go to the bathroom.

Leo (July 23-August 22): The future holds a displeasing ratio of ads to content.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)
: In the days to come, you will look for validation from strangers on social media.

Libra (September 23-October 22): You will have a cool dream this week, but you won’t remember it.

Scorpio (October 23- November 21): The stars indicate that, soon, you will be surprised and horrified by the front-facing camera.

Sagittarius (November 22- December 21): Do not expect to get the inbox zero this week.

Capricorn (December 22- January 19): You will pretend to be busier than you are this week to get out of doing something else.