A day after his ban from Facebook for what the company called hate speech, conspiracy theorist and radio provocateur Alex Jones has devised a plan to sneak back on Facebook in disguise under the name Malex Bones.

Sources tell the Hamster that Jones believes his plan is foolproof unless the CIA watched him by his disguise from Dollar Tree. Once back on Facebook, he plans to ease back into his arguments, starting for example first vaguely talking about frogs before questioning if the deep state was changing the sexuality of the frogs.

We will update this story as it develops, unless we just blew his cover.