After many were talking Wednesday night about presidential candidate Joe Biden’s bloody eye, the former vice president assured reporters and voters alike that he has taken care of the situation with his newly-equipped laser eye.
“With this thing, I can see just fine and vaporize Donald Trump all at once,” Biden said in a press scrum. “I’m the only candidate with four decades of experience in Washington and with a deadly laser eye that can kill all of my enemies.”
Shortly after talking to reporters, Biden shot Beto O’Rourke into thousands of smaller pieces with his laser eye to demonstrate its power.