President Joe Biden is reportedly privately consulting advisors to see if he can end the entire pandemic by shouting ‘April Fools’ at a press conference later today.
“What’s the science behind this whole day, anything we can do there?” Biden was said to have asked. “Can we declare the whole thing a joke and get it over with? Back in Scranton we did a thing where I said ‘pull my finger’ and then what happened was I farted. And we pulled pranks on old Jimmy Timberwoods and little Sally Berry. And Corn Pop. We all pulled pranks. Light a bag of poo on fire. So we can still do it. We can do the thing.”
While the plan has been considered, so far it looks like people close to the president have not signed off on it.