By Amelia Hamilton

Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.

Zoom Does Good!

Maybe this will help with the Zoom fatigue we’re all feeling. After 71 years later, these friends who survived the Holocaust found each other again on an online Yom Kippur service.  

Verdict: Sometimes, the lack of doom comes from the most unexpected places, like having to worship online. 

Pay attention

Did you hear they found water on the moon? 

Verdict: Only in 2020 could something this big be overlooked. Pay attention or we’re doomed. 

Hockey honors one of their own

In the early 1980s, hockey legend Wayne Gretzky got his girlfriend’s brother (and Edmonton sports megafan) Joey Moss a job as a dressing room attendant. He was a beloved part of the NHL’s Edmonton Oilers team for decades, even singing the Canadian national anthem on occasion. 

Joey passed away this week, and the hockey community came out to honor him. 

In a press release, the Oilers wrote “The Edmonton Oilers organization is extremely saddened by the passing of our dear friend and colleague, the legendary Joey Moss.”

You can read more tributes from players and fans. 

Verdict: Kindness matters, and it’s the only thing that will save us from doom.

Of course

A guy in New York fell into a sinkhole filled with rats. 

Verdict: Absolutely doomed.

I’ll have my usual

An Atlanta food writer found a great way to get through the COVID blues. A little restaurant for her neighborhood chipmunk.  

Verdict: Having fun, being creative, and a sweet little varmint are great ways to get out of the doldrums and away from the doom. 

Oh, come on

Once again, I have to wonder if people have ever seen a movie. Sure the monster wolf robots are guarding your town now, but that’s only so they can succeed in their violent coup down the road. Probably.

Verdict: Double doom. Doomed by the robots and doomed by the stupidity that trusts them.

Like they weren’t creepy enough

In case you thought clowns weren’t creepy enough, here is a woman from the Oregon Health Authority giving the COVID death count. In clown makeup. 

Verdict: Complete doom. Not from COVID, but from a lack of common sense and empathy. 

Live your dream!

This kid absolutely made my week.

(Before watching, please note that he is looking at the camera. He’s got this memorized!)

Verdict: Everything about this tells me we’re not doomed. He created something with a positive for the internet, which is rare! He also makes it clear that you can be anything. You don’t have to get a doctorate – but you can! You don’t have to learn a trade – but you can! All of these are valid options. Plus, his dance just made me happy. 

McDoom

The McRib is back nation wide for the first time since 2012 and I am uncomfortable with the amount of joy this brings to the people of this weary nation. 

Verdict: This cannot be the hill which brings peoples together. I won’t have it. It would mean doom.


In the final analysis… Evil robots are roaming the Earth and scary clowns are, apparently, involved in our health somehow, but there are also really kind people out there and Zoom not sucking. We just might be OK.


Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!