By Amelia Hamilton

Welcome to Are We Doomed? the weekly column in which I will take the latest news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.


Not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s a virus or something. People are showing their true character, which can go either way.

  1. If you’re practicing “social distancing” it’s hard to build community. It’s even harder if you’re in full quarantine and everything is closed. Still, Italians are finding a way to spread joy (but not a hideous virus) with their neighbors. This isn’t even from the faucet wine!
  • Wait, what?
  • The best thing we can do is step up to help each other. For some of us, all we can offer is a meme to cheer somebody up. For others, it’s a grocery run for an at-risk neighbor. As a professional athlete, 19 year-old New Orleans Pelicans star Zion Williamson is able to do a lot more, and he is stepping up.

4. People are doing very dumb things to try to stay healthy. Please Don’t do this.

5. Capitalism is great. Greed is bad. So I’m kind of glad this guy who tried to buy all the hand sanitizer and price gouge is left without anyone to sell it to.

6. We’ve all been in a Zoom video meeting that could have been an e-mail. But here we are, with full makeup and pajama pants, acting like adults. Still, that’s not Zoom’s fault, and CEO Eric Yuan is going to help schools closed due to Coronavirus by letting them access his videoconferencing tools for free so students don’t fall behind. Here are some other free resources to help kids and parents.

Verdict: Mr. Rogers always said that, in a crisis, you need to look for the helpers. They will show you that things are going to be ok. As long as we keep taking care of each other, even in pandemic panic, we’re going to be ok. Unless the monkeys get us.


Verdict: People helping animals are the best people, and tell me we’re not so doomed after all.


Verdict: Some helpers are wiling to risk it all for us and our freedom. And the goodest of bois give them the welcome home they deserve (if they aren’t serving, too). No doom detected.


Sometimes, good things just happen.

Verdict: There’s always hope, which suggests a lack of doom.


These are some crazy times, but I think we’re going to be ok. At least for now. Then again, it’s the Ides of March, so be careful out there.