Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here. 


The Queen has gotten two new Corgi puppies and I could not be more delighted. 

Verdict: Puppies stand between us and doom, and the Queen has fended off quite a bit of doom herself. I’d say this is a pretty good sign.

Monster Sighting

There’s a giant flesh-eating monster in Florida.

Verdict: This isn’t good. Pretty sure it’s doom, TBH. 

In Otter Florida News

Baby otters were born for the first time at Discovery Cove in Florida. 

Verdict: Otters are very cute and cute thing won’t cause the end of the world (it’s science; don’t bother checking) ergo, not doomed. 


When I told my mom a ship was seen floating off the coast of Cornwall, she replied “aren’t ships supposed to float?” Not like this mom

Verdict: Depends on whether or not you believe this whole “mirage” explanation. Either it’s a cool scientific phenomenon that we are undoomed enough to get to see or it’s a levitating ship and we’re being lied to about it. Given the current state of affairs, it’s probably the latter and the accompanying doom. 

In the final analysis…Baby animals are really cute, but are they cute enough to balance out nature gone wild? Only time will tell.

Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about whats going on and Ill let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless its just totally doomed, in which case Ill tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!