By Amelia Hamilton
Welcome to Are We Doomed? The weekly column in which I take a look at recent news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.
Be Thankful
Canadian treasure Alex Trebek left us a posthumous message of hope this Thanksgiving.
Verdict: We’re going to be ok as long as we continue to help each other. We might be doomed if they let Ken Jennings “replace” Alex Trebek. As a society, we cannot let that happen.
Why is it always Spain?
I feel like people wander around Spain with incredible works of art asking random people off the street to restore them. Latest example:
Verdict: We should respect our history and art more than this (and this and this and all of these) or we’re totally doomed.
What’s this, now?
A helicopter crew has discovered some random “metal monolith” in the desert.
Verdict: I guess this could be good news, but I’m not ready to say this isn’t doomed given all of the alien activity.
Gaslighting is Wrong
People magazine recently held polls to determine certain categories in the “Sexiest Man Alive” category. Under sexiest brothers, there were options such as the Helmsworths, the JoBros, Chris and Joe Evans…and Andrew and Chris Cuomo. One of these things is not like the other, and don’t try to convince me it is.
Verdict: We are doomed if we start accepting these weird these being crammed down out throats. We are doomed if we do not stand up against the system and say that the Cuomo brothers are not sexy. Even/especially the one with the nipple ring.
Newp
Grow-your-own human meat steaks exist now. The creators of this Frankenstein Monster of a dinner say that it’s not “technically” cannibalism, so that’s good.
Verdict: Do we need to keep being weirder? Just eat normal things or we’re doomed.
Making lemonade
When COVID forced Emily Bugg and Billy Lewis to cancel their big wedding and get married at the courthouse instead, they lost their $5,000 catering deposit. Instead of losing that money, they used it to buy 200 Thanksgiving meals for clients at a local mental health center.
Verdict: As long as people are willing to take life’s lemons at make it into lemonade – especially lemonade for other people – we’re not doomed at all.
In the final analysis… There’s another potential alien mystery and human meat steaks exist, but we are also taking time to be grateful, to have hope for the future, and to help each other. I think we just might be ok.
Want to know if your situation is doomed? Write and tell me about what’s going on and I’ll let you know what you can do to keep the doom at bay (unless it’s just totally doomed, in which case I’ll tell you that, too). You can tweet me @ameliahammy using #AskAmHam, message me through my Facebook page, or e-mail editorial@velvethamster.com. Let me help!