In an absolutely adorable decision, President Joe Biden has let his dog Major use his paws to launch drone strikes in Syria.
The good boy launched four drone strikes on his own, killing as many as 325 people in the cutest possible way. Biden said Major certainly earned a treat and belly rubs after that deadly showing.
“He’s such a good boy, let me tell ya,” Biden said. “He rolls over, he fetches the paper, he kills the people over there in the Middle East. This guy’s my best friend.”
Biden said his other dog, Champ, is scheduled to bust some folks for nonviolent cannabis offenses later this week. Along with the rest of the media, the Hamster will be sure to document that adorable little drug bust.